Krafft-Ebing's book was so popular among both laymen and doctors that the terms "heterosexual" and "homosexual" became the most widely accepted terms for sexual orientation. Many modern style guides in the U. Gay especially refers to male homosexuality,  but may be used in a broader sense to refer to all LGBT people.
On the evening of August 8,I tucked our five-year-old Paley into bed as usual while the rest of us played in the next room.
It had been a while so David suggested I check on Paley, and I felt a pang in my heart that it had been a little too long since I had last peeped in on him.
While the rest of the family was lightheartedly whiling away the evening, secretions had plugged Paley's airway, overstraining his heart, but the alarms had failed. I didn't even know for certain how long he had been like that, and in these kinds of situations every second counts The sinking of my heart as I screamed and rushed to his side, the wrenching in my stomach as I pulled his ashen, unconscious body from the bed and laying him on the ground while yelling for David to callthe tears flooding my cheeks, the pleading with God while performing CPR are all still as vivid as fire.
I remember having to battle the part of my own mind that wanted to indulge in sickening despair and self-hatred for allowing this to happen on my watch. Vaguely, I could hear David chiding me in the background, "Stop crying!
In my unvoiced prayers, I tried to bargain with and manipulate God. He answered me gently and sensibly with the truth, truth about who He is and about who I am in Him.
You know that you won't. You'll live on for your children. I'll live but I'll definitely go into a wretched depression.
I'll be a miserable person never be able to share the gift of my joy again. I'll probably never smile or laugh again! Yes, you will suffer greatly, but I will bring you through it and you will still be able to know joy.
I'll be guilty and blame myself forever! I'll be useless to you, to anyone I might have helped!
No one will believe in me and I'll never be able to serve and minister to others again. Again I felt the Lord speaking in my heart, "You know very well that there is no condemnation in me.
I will only expand your ministry and give you even greater opportunities to serve me through this loss. At last, with my spirit, calm and resolved, and with my hands pressing on Paley's chest, I looked upward and said, "I'm looking for 'Yes' until you say 'No.
Then I'll accept it. That was when he began to sustain his own heartbeat again. Soon the paramedics arrived and we were on our way to the ER. He still had not regained consciousness, our fears were great, and all we could do was continue to pray and ask friends to pray.
I still hadn't forgiven myself, but the great sense of love and compassion from our friends and family helped me to keep helping Paley. Below is the update I posted on the following day. Paley was wide awake between am EST, alert and aware of me and his surroundings, looked at me when I said his name, tried to peek outside when he heard noises in the hallway.
He "looked" and responded more like himself. Right now, his breathing and heart are fine, and he's in a deep sleep. Just spoke with night attending who was confused why he's overventilated. I told her that he was switched to a cuffed trach when he has uncuffed. Apparently, the hospital vents are sensitive and alarm with uncuffed trachs.
Waiting for the daytime nurse to get to my house at 8am to watch Reid so David can bring the home vent setup. Everyone at home is doing as well as can be expected.
The big boys were great helpers last night, waiting downstairs at the front door for the ambulance while David watched Reid and I continued to give Paley breaths with the Ambu. When the night nurse came yesterday, Lucian and Blaise wanted to come with David to see us in the ER.Acts Of War Behavior Of Men In Battle Epub Book Ebook 49,74MB Acts Of War Behavior Of Men In Battle Epub Book Scouting for Acts Of War Behavior Of Men In .
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